“Judy, Blessings on your book! I’m honored to be part of it!”
Liz Gilbert, New Jersey, handwritten note signed with a heart, November 2010 before either of us had seen the book in print (she wrote the foreword for Torn Apart!)
**************
I just came back from San Jose, visiting with Judy, Karin, and enjoying the
wonderful life they have made there together, a life I cannot imagine being
torn apart in my name, as a U.S. citizen. This is the letter I emailed to
our president, then called and emailed to my representative’s aide for DOMA-
related issues.
Dear President Obama: I am heartened that you have affirmed your belief that
same-sex couples should have the right to legally marry in the United
States, and by your request that the justice system review the
constitutionality of DOMA. There are, however, bi-national same-sex couples
who are, as I write, under threat of being torn apart, because immigration
officials are refusing to stay meetings and rulings until the courts have
ruled. I, as a heterosexual woman, have the right to marry whom I choose,
and, as a U.S. citizen, to sponsor that person for citizenship so that we
can live together in this great land of ours. Yet, our gay and lesbian
brothers and sisters still do not have this basic right of citizenship. They
are at risk of being, or have been, separated, a sundering that is
irreparably damaging to them, to their many communities, and to we as a
nation. I ask you, I beg you, to issue an executive order to stop the
immigration proceedings for these couples until the courts rule to overturn,
or, God forbid, uphold, the heinous law that declares their love and
commitment illegal.
Abrazos, Susan (a friend from my Cuba trip in April, 2012)
***********************
Dear Ms. Rickard:
Thank you for sending me an autographed copy of your book “Torn Apart, United by Love, Divided by Law.” I’m looking forward to reading it.
I was pleased to co-sponsor S. 821, the Uniting American Families Act of 2011. I’m always happy to hear when folks think legislation is helpful to their lives.
Again, thank you for the gift.
Sincerely,
Mark Begich
United States Senator (Alaska)
*************************
so i finally sat down and read your book…..
i am not really sure what to say. Basically, that i had NO idea about the depths of immigration denial for same sex couples, DOMA, etc. I feel like i was blind. Or maybe because i have just never been aware of it, or i had not been connected in any sort of way. Well now i am. I cant say i know how you feel, or i understand. Because i have not been in your shoes, i have not had to go through what you and Karin, and other same sex bi-national couples have had to go through. But reading your stories and what you and other couples have gone through really opens up my eyes and my heart. And i have to admit, i had cried several times through reading the different stories of the couples in your book. It makes me upset, mad and frustrated just reading about the lives and struggles that couples have to go through just to stay together. To keep family together. In the simplest words. It pisses me off.
At any rate, you have heard the same rants a bunch of times so i dont think I need to go on and on about what I think. I believe you get the picture…..
Dear Judy,
I wanted to finish reading your book before I wrote to you, but I have not read the whole book yet. First, let me say when I picked it up to read the foreword I could not put it down. You did a great job of writing. I am fascinated and enlightened about a subject I am ashamed to say I knew nothing about. I admire your fervor and passion to get the laws changed. There is so much that still needs to be done in our world for social justice to all people.
I’m sorry we did not share time in Cuba about this subject you have been fighting so hard for so long. After I finish reading the whole book, I’ll follow up with you again.
Your partner, Karin, has a really sweet face. I wish you both a triumphant end to your your long struggle for equal rights.
Thanks for sending me your book.
Sincerely, Peggy (a friend I made on my April 2012 delegation to Cuba with Witness for Peace)
***********************
“I’m reading your book and am horrified at what you and Karin have been through — and are continuing to suffer from. I’ve been concerned and working for immigration reform because of Hispanic friends and young people and now have an added reason to work for it.”
– Ruby (a friend I made on my Witness for Peace trip to Cuba April 20 – 30, 2012)
********************
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book, Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law. I look forward to reviewing your work.
Sincerely, Dennis J. Kucinich, Member of Congress
**********************
Dear Judy,
Thank you for taking the time to share your book, Torn Apart, with me and my staff. I’m sorry for the difficulties you and Karin have faced, and I really appreciate your efforts to highlight the struggles of other LGBT couples who have been separated because of their immigration status. Like you, I believe that no one should be discriminated against or treated differently just because of who they love. Again, thank you for sharing your story with me, and please don’t hesitate to call, write or email me with any ideas or future concerns.
Sincerely, Chellie Pingree, Member of Congress
**********************
Dear Judy,
We received your book today – thanks so much for all your hard work to get your stories out there. We have to be heard. Looking forward to reading it!
Kate (Clinton and Urvashi Vaid)
****************************
Judy just got your book. Beautiful. I will get the word out for your cause!
Cathy on twitter
*********************
Judy,
Thank you for the good read!
Continue sharing your stories as an inspiration to all.
Tom Ammiano (Assemblymember, State of California)
*****************
Judy,
Thanks you so much for sending me a copy of your book. I look forward to reading your story and sharing it in my community of San Diego.
Warmly, Toni (Assemblymember Toni Atkins, State of California)
*****************
Great news… wont it be wonderful when these court cases are NOT needed any more, roll on 2012 it will be sorted by then I believe it.
Our UK daughter Tamsin, via Facebook (responding to a post I put up about another victory)
**************
Hi Judy,
just wanted to say thank you for your brave work. I´m a Spanish professor in New Zealand, originally from Detroit. My partner is female and from S. Korea. We used to work together in Iowa, but in 2009 her visa expired and I received a job offer in NZ, so, we had no choice at the time but to move to NZ, where they offer visas for same-sex partners. We really want to return to the US (I don´t like my job here), but I don´t know how we can do it. Working in academia makes things very difficult because there are very few jobs (she´s a Japanese and Korean teacher).
Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that thousands of people out there are very proud of your hard work and courage. I think you are making history and going to soon improve the lives of many people.
Thank you!
Megan, via Facebook (hiding her last name to help her stay safe)
********************
Judy,
Thanks so much for your support of my brother Doug & my brother-in-law Alex! I know it meant a lot to both of them. It means a lot to the rest of our family too. Since the beginning of their fight we are constantly amazed at all the “red tape”, stress and strain they have gone through. Finding out that this happens over & over to couples all over our country is a very sad & unacceptable situation. We all need to stand together and keep making our voices heard until their truly is equality for everyone. Best wishes, good thoughts, and my prayers now include you & Karin also in your lives.
Cecily McDonald, on my Torn Apart blog (see, people do read it!)
*****************
“Hello Judy,
So pleased that you’ve sent me the book “Torn Apart”, what a surprise!! Thank you so much.
I am spreading the word with the small notecards you had included in the parcel.
Adriana, at Findhorn, via email
*********************
“I ordered Torn Apart for our local library months ago and they finally got it in yesrerday. . I am already engrossed, in fact I will be taking it up to Taos to read in the birthing suite — sooooon I hope !
When I return it to the library it will sit prominently on the ’14 day’ shelf for lots of people to find. It is beautifully written with so much essential information, Judy is an extraordinary researcher, clearly a huge amount of work.”
Carly, to Karin via email
**********************
“Heard you on the radio tonight. Excellent interview. You’re an inspiration.”
Marty, on Facebook (before I got home from doing the interview!)
*************
“Judy darling, just finished your book… WOW!!! Like seriously, WOW!!! I love you both and you are amazing! Thank you for doing what you do. Hugs!!! ♥”
Jayare, on Facebook
*******************************
“Judy – I finally had a chance to read your book on the plane back from Toronto. Thank you so much for this accomplishment. It’s really wonderful!!!”
Jason, on Facebook
***********************
“Thank u for all u do for us. we r in desperate need of change. my gf is visitin me from australia for a short time an i wish the law would change so i could sponsor her. do u have any advice for us? thank u so much for all u do..u r amazon.”
Christi, on Facebook
***************************
“I just wanted to say, when i saw yourself and Karin on msnbc, i thought, still think, you two are just the cutest lesbians 
you’re inspiring and very courageous,”
Robyn, on Facebook
***********************
“Wow, Judy, you really are amazing! And I love/hate your book. I love that you put us out there for the world to learn more about the couples and the unfairness of it all. I love the way you write. I hate that the book was even necessary.
I highly recommend this book!”
Carrie, on Facebook
****************************
Judy,
“You are making a difference. We appreciate your voice, your courage and your spirit.”
Best,
Tom Plummer, staff attorney at Immigration Equality, handwritten note
***********************
Judy,
We really are very proud of you and the book award.
Name witheld because of immigration status, by email
*************************
Judy:
It was a pleasure to meet you and your partner. Keep fighting the good fight!
Best
Bruce Haring, San Francisco Book Festival organizer, via email
*********************
Hi Judy,
“Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, Judy, and for your vigilance in fighting our collective fight with strength, conviction, love, and humor. All my gratitude!”
Mike, on Facebook
***********************
Dear Rickard,
I thank you so much for my own autographed copy of Torn Apart…my gosh, the reviews on amazon.com are just spectacular and had I not just walked off the bus (staggered) from chaperoning 180 junior high kids at Disneyland, I would have begun it this weekend.
Your friendship over these years has meant tons to me, and I am so glad that we’ve reconnected. I’m so proud of ya and am quite serious about changing our world for the better. So good to see both of you on Tuesday.
xxoox Cindy (handwritten note from my pal from junior high and high school days)
********************
Judy and Karin,
“Thanks again for setting up the portrait project and for writing that wonderful book. If you are ever up in LA again, give us a holler!”
Alberto and Steve
*******************
Hi Judy,
Tony and I just saw the MSNBC clip with you and Karin – very nice! We had a very slow Internet connection here in Southern Thailand and the 4-minute clip took about 10 minutes to watch. You girls are so cute and I’m so proud of you for speaking out. I wish there would be more faces behind the issue. (Having said that, the issue is so much more public now than it was 10 years or even 5 years ago.)
Keep up the great work, Judy and Karin!
Thomas and Tony from Thailand
************************
“I read your book on my trip – my first reaction: I felt like Alice in Wonderland! Your personal story was intimate, engaging and informative. But I had difficulty identifying with your situation or mentally becoming part of the book. Ass the relationship between you and Karin emerged I wanted to cry ‘Whoa Ladies – danger ahead!’
That said, you are a prolific writer and researcher – I don’t know how you put it all together so quickly. You can be proud of having produced a significant book on a subject hidden from most of us folks.
With every interview and discussion you’ll raise awarness of people (like me) who had no idea that such a situation exists. Keep it up!
Blessings, Sally, in a handwritten note to me
******************************
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. More importantly, thank you for your courage, your conviction, and your advocacy. There is so much work yet to be done and your personal witness is invaluable…
Rich, in a handwritten note to me
********************
“See you tomorrow…do you think I can get a signed book by BOTH of you? I am not really into the “famous” stuff but your road is EYE OPENING and is at the basic concept of our constitution. With you ladies!
Anne, on Facebook
************************
“I’ve been flipping through your book, I’ve been skimming different stories, so tonight I thought I should properly read it. I read the dedications and the preface and have tears. This could take me a while. 
”
Dawn, on Facebook
***********************
“I have read just a bit of your book and am motivated by you amazing woman (and all with you). Thank you both.”
Anne, on Facebook
************************
“Thanks for the book – and the dedication. It is an impressive tome. Good luck!”
Carole, via Facebook
**************
“It is a good book, I enjoyed it very much!”
April Lynne Anderson, via Facebook
*************************
“I’m almost finished with Torn Apart–I’m reading the resource section. Thank you for laying it out for the world to see–you and Karin Bogliolo and everyone else’s whose stories broke my heart will see it happen one day–I believe it. And books like this will be the reason why. You Rock!”
Lana on Facebook
**************************
“Still reading. Heart tugging. Hey ole boss, keep it up.”
Karen, former colleague, on Facebook
********************
“I had to share this with you: my mum (before she passed last June) tried to help a friend who has a visa from Britain stay in the states; she offered to marry her, but FL doesn’t recognize same sex marriage. She would have done that as a straight person to help out, which to me is testament to the woman she was. One of these days you’ll …have to change the title of that book! I hope soon
Suze, on Facebook
**********************************
“I wanted to thank you for the copy of your book. I just started reading it but I want to thank you for your courage.”
Judy, former elected official, in a handwritten note to me
*******************************
“I got ur great book! Im gonna read this week! muchas gracias! all the best!
my pal Omar in Facebook message
*********************
“We got your lovely book yesterday and have started reading your story. Very poignant and well written, I hope the new legislative news continues to be positive for you and Karin. Fingers crossed!”
Sister-in-law Chris in Oregon, via Facebook
**************************************
Great book. Great message. If you haven’t read this book, what are you waiting for? : )
Graham, on Facebook
****************************
Thank you for my autographed copy of the book, which arrived today. I can’t wait to read it! Congratulations on such a great accomplishment.
Rachel, New York City, in email to me
*********************
I’m praying that things change, and all your hard work pays off.
love to you both,
Cynthia, Thierry’s Findhorn Press assistant, in an email to us
Judy, your book has been very inspirational to many same sex bi-national couples, and the more we can get awareness of the subject matter out, the better. I applaud you for doing what many of us have thought about doing for years, but never quite succeeded : )
Graham in a Facebook message to me
********************
“Your book arrived today! Thanks for sending. I’m sitting in bed reading it, having had a flu relapse. Enjoying very much so far. I’m impressed, lady…I’m glad that you followed Elizabeth’s suggestion and took it upon yourself to write. xxx”
Shirley, our Scottish daughter-in-law, in a Facebook message to me
*******************
“I’ve started reading it, Judy; you’re an absolute angel for doing this!”
Paul, a longtime friend, in a Facebook message to me
*********************
Dearest Judy and Karin,
Thank you so much for the book about your story of your love. So thoughtful and generous of you both. We admire your strength, compassion and fortitude in making marriage laws change for good. You have our support fully.
Hugs and love, Katy and Anna, in a handwritten card to us
*****************
“Hi Judy,
Wanted to let you know that I did receive my copy. Great job
there! I took a couple of the larger cards and smaller ones to my
local gay bar. In just seconds several people wanted to know where
they could buy it at. Cool huh? They also want to know if you’re going
to be doing any book signings anywhere. I told them I would ask. Anyway
Thank you so much…
kisses, Roi, interviewed in the book, from Gulfport, Mississippi, in an email to me. He and his partner, Aurelio, are still in different countries…
**********************
“Hi Judy!
I read your book last night. Cover to cover. I couldn’t put it down. And I cried. I cried when you described how you had to sell all of your treasure to afford to be together. I cried when you described how wretchedly painful it was to say goodbye to Karin. I cried when Karin wrote: ‘I have no idea when I will be allowed to see my darling Judy again. Please help us.’
Judy, thank you so much for writing this book. Thanks so much for putting your story on paper for all to read, at obvious risk to yourself and Karin. And thanks also for recording the stories of so many others who are suffering under this horrible discrimination.
And thanks for including our story. It somehow lends some validation to all we have been through. It is now written for all to see. It validates the last 15 years of our lives together, and it records the hell that so many have suffered just to love. It is powerful and gives us power to have our stories told.
And it will change minds and lives.
I’m going to order a lot of copies and have them delivered to lots of people I know.
Thanks for giving so much of yourself so that we all might be free.
Love and hugs to you and to Karin. I hope we can see you again.
XOXO
Carmen, Washington, D.C. , in an email to me – a wonderful man we met in June, 2009 with his partner Aster
******************
“This PSA was great…I sent it to all of my contacts! Thanks for the copy of your book, Judy, I am halfway through…you are an awesome writer!!!”
Cathy, San Jose, longtime friend in an email to me
***************************
“Thanks for writing Torn Apart. Immigration equality for LGBT people is
a must! I have a chapter about bi-national couples in my book Love
Warriors. I hope that folks will get these two books and share them
with everyone they know. We must educate minds and open hearts. Let us
not have to fear or worry that we will be TORN APART from the one we
love.
Love Warriors: The Rise of the Marriage Equality Movement and Why It
Will Prevail by Davina Kotulski
http://www.facebook.com/l/b5da9fXjhaH3Ckg4CuYdLu0n7fw;lovewarriorsthebook.com/
********************
“Judy–Our copy came!!! Thank you so much, and for the lovely dedication too. I can’t wait to get into it. This effort you made is going to be a major tool for us to advance justice, and we will forever be grateful to you and Karin for it.
Thanks again–”
Chris, San Francisco, in an email to me after getting his copy of Torn Apart
********************
“Oh Judy and Karin,
No, this is the first time I see it.
NOT only do I LOVE it, I L O V E it- and I am sitting here in tears, after I saw it, as well as of all the other Give a damn movies. SO GOOD.
bloody painful it is like this, and bloody necessary it will change.
I am in the middle of layouting the Rainbow Bridge, and I will damned well put some lines about it in the Rainbow Bridge. May I have your permission for that?
And I will dive deeper, forward it, etc etc, love it , love it.”
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, with much love, Adriana, Scotland, on Facebook after seeing the PSA
************
“Hey, I just got home and found your book waiting for me. I have to say thank you, and how proud I am of you for writing this and bringing it to completion, and how much I appreciate a signed copy. I’m not prone to exaggeration and I don’t hand out praise casually so listen up: you are a wonderful person and a delight to know.
By the by, Terri and I already decided to buy another copy to donate somewhere. Should I just get it from Amazon, or should I buy it from you or Findhorn directly?
John, my former co-worker and fierce ally, on Facebook
****************
“Thank you so much for your book and the dedication to Carol and I! I am so happy for you that it’s completed, and so glad to hear that Karin is here with you at the moment! Carol and I started reading your book together last night – we got to page 40 and read yours and Karin’s stories. Some stories you’ve both got! They wove themselves into my dreams and you and Karin were both in my dreams.
Enjoy your time together! How long does Karin get to stay?
much love to you both, and congratulations!! Angie, via Facebook message
********************
“We received Judy’s book and promo materials today!!!! Wow — it all looks really, really good. Congratulations to you both!!!! Fantastic job. Please tell Judy that I have started reading it already … and it’s so easy and interesting to read. Great job!!!
Love and hugs,
Sandy and Adrienne, Ottawa, via email to Karin
**************
“Judy and Karin – received your wonderful amazing book in the mail yesterday! Sat down and just about read it cover to cover. What can I say – it’s exactly the book we need! I’m in awe of your accomplishment and very moved by how generously you both share yourself.”
xxxx love Martha, The Netherlands, email to us (she’s interviewed in the book and is co-founder of Love Exiles Foundation)
****************
“This is a great piece, Judy. Congrats to you and Karin.”
Katherine, St. Louis, email to us after seeing the PSA
***************
“Many thanks for your talk to WOF this last Sunday. I know everyone not only enjoyed yours and Karin’s story but learned a lot.
Hope Karin is rested now. I have been reading the chapters on you two. Some of your comments are cute. Other comments, especially about ICE make my blood boil.”
Best regards, Kathy, San Jose, email to us
***************
“A great review and well deserved. Let’s hope politicians read and act on this.”
Mary Jo, another fierce ally, on Facebook, after seeing David Mixner’s review of Torn Apart
***************
“Just received your book yesterday from Amazon. Can’t wait to read it.”
Xiaofeng, Facebook friend
******************
“CONGRATULATIONS, JUDY!
I’m proud of you. (Knew you could do it, too!)”
Bruce, San Jose, in an email after he saw posts about the book but before he got his in the mail
****************************
“you’re a gem…. go judy, go!”
Brian, New York, an email reply to me (join his great group Friendfactor to help the LGBT community – go to Friendfactor.org and sign up!)
*********************
“Judy, What a treat to have a signed copy of your book! I look forward to reading it. While no book could ever do justice to the deep pain and deep love experienced by bi-national couples and those subject to our current immigration laws…I am glad you have added your voice and those of others.
Thank you for sharing your work with me!”
Rea, Washington, D.C. in a handwritten note I received in February. Woo hoo!
******************
“I’m reading Judy’s superb book right now–a must read.”
Tim, Campbell, on Facebook (my cinema club guy!)
***************
“Hope all is well. Congrats on the book. It’s such a great thing you have done by writing it. Are you going to be in the (deleted to protect identity) area in the near future because I would like to set something up perhaps with the center to have a book signing informative meeting. Please let me know.”
Name witheld to protect identity, American half of a same-sex binational couple with immigration issues like we have, an email to me.
***************
“Please support my friend and mentor Judy Rickard’s debut book Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law”
Sai, my special buddy, San Jose, on Facebook
*************
“This book made me cry. A Must Read for anyone concerned about human rights and the legalization of gay marriage.”
MJ, another friend and fierce ally, San Jose, on Facebook
****************
“I will be getting a copy of Judy’s book. And of course I support her.”
Will, another special friend and ally, San Jose, on Facebook
***************
“My friend Judy just wrote this beautiful, heart-wrenching book about the struggle that gay and lesbian bi-national couples face as they struggle to stay together. With a foreword by Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) Buy it. Read it. It will bring you to tears.”
Mary Jo, San Jose, on Facebook (pushing the book as much as she can!)
**************
“I have heard Judy speak before and her presentation is riveting.”
Kathleen, San Jose, in an email announcing a book reading/signing event in Los Gatos.
****************
“Rickard, got your gorgeous promo piece and can not tell you how PROUD I am of you…..It’s hanging on our fridge (the card, not my pride). I know I’ve told you before, but you’re making this a better world.
Hi to Karin~~
XXOOOOX”
Cindy, Los Altos, an email to me (we went to junior and senior high school together and have kept in touch)
